This article was published in CareerBliss and written by Ritika Trikha. I was a guest expert speaking about women owning their full height and how it affects their confidence in the workplace. When I work with my Alexander Technique clients, they discover their true height which is much less work than the typical Stand Up Straight posture. My clients who have to walk into meetings and communicate their expertise learn how to Own the Room with their Power Pose. They are far more aware of their body language, how they tense when they are nervous, and how to release and open. Read the article below:
Are Taller Women More Successful At Work
by Ritika Trikha
Researchers do concede, though, that there may not be a direct link between height and success.
However, “tall people may have greater self-esteem and social confidence than shorter people,” according to Timothy A. Judge, PhD, of the University of Florida who led the study referenced above.
“The process of literally ‘looking down on others’ may cause one to be more confident,” he says in the Journal article.
This got us thinking – do tall women potentially have an edge in the workforce, especially when it comes to working in male-dominated offices?
We spoke with psychology experts and several women who are perceived to be tall (and some who count themselves among the short) and talked to them about how their height has impacted their career.
Here’s how to make your height work for you:
Posture Says it All
When we feel anxious or lack confidence we tend to slouch down. Curl up in a ball. Drop our heads—try to take as little space as possible.
“This pattern makes [tall women] look and feel ‘less-than,’ nervous, and withdrawn,” says Sharon Jakubecy, certifiedAlexander Technique teacher and performance coach.
Instead, taking up space (e.g. standing in a power pose) is a great way to project more confidence and assertiveness.
“At work in the office, the woman who walks at her full height and allows her chest and shoulders to have an easy openness will be the most confident of all her colleagues, including the men,” Jakubecy says.
You can’t help but take notice of a tall woman’s strong posture.
It’s a Great Networking Ice Breaker
“While some people might think that tall people come off as more intimidating, on some levels I’ve found that it makes me more approachable,” Lara Levin, a 5-foot-11 senior account executive at Allison + Partners says.
Generally speaking, most people “will not comment about how short someone is,” Levin says, and “while it’s not the most original conversation starter, people always ask me about my height.”
“Then they always ask if I played sports in high school or college, which opens up the door to talk about hobbies and be relatable to clients and people that I meet while networking,” Levin says.
What an easy ice breaker when you’re networking – use it to your advantage!
Own Your Height – Tall, Short or In-Between
Nearly all women we spoke with told us that height is an amplifier, but confidence comes from within.
For tall women who feel insecure about their height, Casey Bond, a 5-foot-9 content manager at Consumer Track offers this piece of advice: “Sometimes you have to ‘fake it ‘til you make it.’”
It was this mentality that helped Bond feel more comfortable at a recent business dinner with a group of very petite coworkers. “In those instances, you can feel a bit like Sasquatch!” she says. “But what I’ve learned is that others perceive you to be the way you perceive yourself, and if you project confidence, others will see it.”
This means owning up to your height, short or tall.
“I round up to 5 feet, and I look very young,” says Sharon Rosenblatt of Accessibility Partners. “As a result, I’ve had to boost up my professionalism both on the phone and in person to make up for my apparent immaturity. As a result, I speak up more than my taller friends in social settings.”
So, if you want to be successful, forget how tall you are relative to those around you in the office, especially men.
“What a woman does with her height and whether she embodies her full height will determine her experience of confidence, power, and success at work and in life,” Jakubecy says.
Last year, I was a guest expert on body language with Abiola Abrams. As a teacher of the Alexander Technique, I am acutely aware of people’s body language and how they react to stressors like dating. My clients share quite a bit of personal information with me regarding their relationships, their work, and their lives. Helping my clients release the physical tension associated with meeting a new potential love, walking into a job interview, or having a difficult conversation with a boss gives them the “tools” to be completely present, open, and creative in these high-stakes situations of life.
Please enjoy Abiola’s article on “How to Read Body Language – Get Inside His Head”
Saturday, February 4, 2012 by Abiola Abrams
If a love genie could grant you any magic power to make your relationships better, we know which one you’d want. Flying is cool and being invisible would become boring but imagine if you were a mind reader. What if you could look at your crush and realize that he really is just that into you? What is you had clear indications that the stud is a dud?
You may not be a mind reader, dollface, but every human being is constantly emitting signals that tell us exactly what they’re thinking. Yes, his body is talking and so is yours. I’m talking about body language, and I’m about to teach you how to read body language!
To find out exactly what that boy is thinking, I enlisted the help of Sharon Jakubecy, a renowned body language specialist. Sharon shared all of the tips and tricks you need to rock your love life right now!
Your Body Language Question: Is he interested in me?
Every day you exchange a smile or a couple of words but that’s it. Still, you could live on that gorgeous smile for weeks. So is he into you or just a social animal?
Our trusty body language expert says, “When a man is interested, he orients his body towards you. He may lean in your direction and his eyes stay focused on you. While you are sharing, he may touch you. A gentle brush of your arm or a hand on your knee. To show you he is listening, he may tilt his head to one side. His breath will be calm and slow.”
Your Body Language Question: What if he’s just being polite?
Okay, he seems like he’s leaning in. Or is he? How do we know he’s not just being nice? This is where you have to pay attention to the subtleties of communication.
Sharon breaks it down like this: “When a man is not interested, his body and gaze are pretty much doing the opposite of the above. His body is facing another direction or he is fidgeting. His eyes are focused somewhere else or looking around. His breath will be more erratic.”
Your Body Language Question: Did he just flash me a fake smile?
Ugh. That awkward moment when you flashy your pearly whites at someone and get that dull quickie smile in return. It wasn’t even a Tyra-worthy smize. Sure that seemed shady but what if he’s just having a bad day?
Bad day or not, our expert says that a fake smile is a fake smile. According to Sharon, who teaches workshops and gives speeches around the country, “Our bodies never lie. So if you or someone you are flirting with is faking a smile, the body will tell the truth. A fake smile has no warmth or joy. It looks forced. The sides of the lips move up but the eyes are flat and expressionless.”
Yup, it’s just what you think. A flirtatious smile is a whole different thing. A real smile works with the eyes. Sharon says, “Pure joy and excitation make your teeth shine with an open-mouth smile.” Yay! We love how that sounds.
Your Body Language Question: Is he lying to me?
Here’s where we suspect you’d be really putting your magical super powers to work. That polygraph test phone app is probably bogus. How do we know if this great guy–or anyone for that matter–is lying?
“Eye contact is huge when it comes to lying,” our expert explains. “If someone is lying their eyes show it.” She goes on to say that there are exceptions with certain behavior conditions that may appear antisocial like Asperger’s Syndrome. However, most folks just can’t look you straight in the eye when they are telling you a lie. Or they go overboard trying to eyeball you to cover up their deceit.
Need more clues? Check for the voice. Sharon says that, “When people are lying, telling a half-truth, or saying something that they are not comfortable with, their voice may crack, drop in volume, or they may clear their throat. They may rush their words as well and move around a lot without being able to sit or stand still.”
I share this video with all of my clients. Seeing the impact of your slouch on your internal organs can elicit a strong desire to pay attention to how you sit, how you stand, how you move and how you breathe.
It’s much easier than you think. Most people around the New Year decide to do something about their posture which typically includes a forced “Sit Up Straight” regimen along with painstaking exercise. The typical assumption is that good posture is a lot of work.
My clients come for a first session in the Alexander Technique and are shocked when they have an experience of their bodies that is light, open, tall, and strong. They gain “Bone Deep Strength.” A sense of strength that requires a release of effort in the neck muscles, the chest muscles, the abdominal muscles, and leg muscles so that the bones can provide structural support for a free moving body.
Watch “Bone Deep Strength” and then keep reading.
Gaining Bone Deep Strength and the freedom that comes with it starts with awareness, an awareness of when you hold your breath, when you slouch, and the effort or heaviness that comes with those habits. With that awareness, you have the ability to make new choices with your body. You have the ability to think differently about your body. You have the power own your full height and utilize your Bone Deep Strength!
I just finished an Alexander Technique session with a client who is returning to lessons after about a year. He has been experiencing lower back pain. What stood out to me while we were catching up was not only how he was carrying his head forward of his body but also that he was working very hard to breathe in and then holding his breath.
When I asked him what he noticed when he was inhaling, he recognized that he was lifting his shoulders and tightening his neck. After he breathed in, he identified the huge amount of muscular effort he used to hold the breath in. His leg muscles tightened. His abdominal muscles clenched. AND, His lower back was overly arched and gripped. This habit made his lower back hurt.
I then showed him the video below:
He was able to see that his neck and shoulders were not supposed to work in order to receive breath. I put my hands around the bottom edge of his ribs so he was aware of the movement of his back and ribs with his breath. Here is the trick: Let breath out (instead of breathing in)
“Sharon! I feel so relaxed!!! Letting breathing out is so calming. I am always working so hard to breathe in.”
Check if you are making these mistakes with your breathing:
1) Breathing in by lifting your chest and shoulders. This requires many muscles in upper body to grip and tighten and prevents your diaphragm from moving properly in order to take in breath.
2) Holding in breath after the inhale. Holding your breath actually requires your muscles to work unnecessarily. You will also start to feel frantic, panicky, anxious, and/or nervous.
3) Controlling the breath. Your body breathes better than you do. If you are breathing in deeply, you are interfering with your body’s natural breathing coordination.
These mistakes can not only cause physical pain but also evoke nervousness, fear, and anxiety. Letting breath out releases muscles and allows your body to take care of you. Your breathes better than you.
If you want to look and feel confident when speaking to colleagues, potential clients, or that hot person that just walked into the room, join the email list at www.AlexanderTechniqueLA.com for video tips to be calm, confident, and charismatic!
I recently contributed to a “Dear Gracie” article on ProfNetConnect describing how you can project confidence starting a new job. That first moment you walk into the office, you want to make a powerful first impression. Read the article below and leave a comment.
Each week, Dear Gracie answers questions from ProfNet Connect readers with advice from our network of nearly 50,000 ProfNet experts. Has there been a question burning in your mind lately, something you’ve been wondering that none of your colleagues can answer? Please send it to firstname.lastname@example.org
I’m about to start a new job, and I want to put my best foot forward. I know I’ll be nervous and insecure about myself for at least the first few weeks. Do you have any tips on how I can seem more confident?
Dear Novel Nerves,
Eight ProfNet experts offer up eight tips on projecting confidence at the office:
1. Walk tall
“Do what your mom told you as a kid — stand up straight!” says Stephen Balzac, president of the management consulting firm 7 Steps Ahead, and psychology professor at Wentworth Institute of Technology. “This is the first and most important step in projecting confidence.”
If you improve your posture, you will also increase your confidence; and the more confident you feel, the more confident you will act, he says.
Walk with a long spine and open chest without crossing your arms, adds Sharon Jakubecy, speaker trainer, performance coach and certified Alexander Technique teacher. You’ll seem more open and approachable.
And just before you enter a room or a meeting, let the breath out of your mouth, she suggests. “This releases uncomfortable tension in your neck, shoulders and jaw, which can make you look aggressive and off-putting.”
Don’t stand slumped over, with your hands in your pockets, not making eye contact, stresses Scott Sobel, president of Media & Communications Strategies, who has a master’s degree in media psychology from Touro University Worldwide.
2. Shake hands like a politician
You’ve heard this one before, but it’s important: Don’t give the “half-hand shake,” says Billy Lowe, celebrity hairstylist. It feels weird, and tells people you’re not fully committed. A good handshake requires three things: full hand, firm grip, solid shake.
3. Look your best, feel your best
Showing up to work in ill-fitting clothing, hair unkempt and a “run out the door” image does nothing for your self-confidence, Lowe says. “If you look great, you feel great.” People will notice and compliment you, which in turn will boost your self-esteem even more.
Moreover, image conveys volumes about work ethic. “People that are up on their beauty and image routines are usually more polished, together, composed and self-assured,” Lowe continues.
“How you carry yourself and dress in the workplace often gives coworkers tips on your attitude and demeanor,” agrees Nancy A. Shenker, founder and CEO of the marketing company theONswitch and co-author of “Don’t Hook Up With the Dude in the Next Cube: 200+ Secrets for New Grads.”
Furthermore, if you roll your eyes at coworkers’ ideas, pay more attention to your smartphone than your colleagues, or consistently flaunt designer duds and pricey bling; you’re sending out the message: “It’s all about ME!” she says.
4. Speak easy
Practice speaking in an even tone, without unnecessary pauses or hesitations, says Balzac. “We perceive confident speech to be speech without gaps.”
And — believe it or not — it’s actually better to say “um” than to let silence reign, he says.
Don’t speak too fast either, Balzac adds. “Rapid speech makes people feel rushed. Confident speakers know they have the time to deliver their message.” Try recording yourself or practicing in front of someone else to see get feedback.
“Rushing makes you and your body more stressed,” agrees Jakubecy. “Your voice will be higher pitched and strained.”
To relax your voice, hum or sing before you go into work or a meeting, she suggests. “This warms up your voice so you sound like an expert. It gets your body moving too so you walk into work feeling more relaxed and connected to your body and voice.”
5. Find your happy place
To appear poised, recall a time when you were at your best, and create a buzzword related to that emotional state, says Gregg Steinberg, motivational speaker, professor of human performance at Austin Peay State University in Tennessee and author of “Full Throttle: How to Supercharge Your Performance at Work.”
The buzzword should represent the confidence you felt in that situation, like “bulldog” or “fighter,” for example. Say the word to yourself each time you start a routine, or right before you begin a task.
For instance, say your buzzword every time you have face-to-face meetings. Your confidence will get a boost when you are already in a positive mental place.
(My buzzword? Tiger-claw!)
6. Give credit where credit’s due
When Vicky Oliver – author of five books on career development, including “301 Smart Answers to Tough Business Etiquette Questions” and “The Millionaire’s Handbook: How to Look and Act Like a Millionaire Even if You’re Not” — worked in the advertising industry, she met five people who all claimed to have written the “I Love New York” campaign. “It doesn’t take five people to write five words,” she says.
It takes a confident person to let someone else shine, and doing so will highlight your integrity and assuredness. So if you are the boss or colleague of someone who did something brilliant, bend over backwards to give the person credit, says Oliver.
7. Let others put in their two cents
“A monologue may be fine if you’re a comic, but confidence is demonstrated by your ability to let people in,” says Balzac.
Stay in control of conversations by asking questions, he says. “Ask other people about themselves, what they are doing, what matters to them.”
Be a good listener by trying to find the underlying message in someone’s words, and don’t interrupt, says Oliver. “Conversely, if someone interrupts you, smile at him or her and do your best to tolerate it. You will win more admiration that way.”
8. Always keep it classy
Admit it — we get annoyed with our coworkers sometimes. Whether someone is bragging too much, giving you unwanted advice or gossiping up a storm, always take the high road and people will think you’re trustworthy and dignified.
People who brag are doing it because they want to feel successful, says Jill Spiegel, author of “How to Talk to Anyone About Anything! The Secrets to Connecting.” Trying to “one up” them severs the connection, so instead, celebrate their success. For example, if a coworker says “I noticed on the sales report that I was the top performer again this week.” Respond with: “That’s exciting. I’m impressed!”
Similarly, if someone gives you advice you didn’t ask for or don’t agree with, don’t respond by explaining why their suggestion won’t work; just make them feel helpful through appreciation and diplomacy, she says. If a coworker says “I’m reading a book about decorating the office for more productivity. Your area needs a few plants. You should get some.” Say something in return like: “Thanks for your idea. I’ll give that some thought.”
And if one of your co-workers in the lunchroom makes a gossipy remark like “Julie’s desk is a mess. I happen to know her sister is a hoarder,” just remember that people gossip to feel important, says Spiegel. Even when others chuckle or seem interested in the gossip, everyone else ends up thinking “What will they about me next?”
Create an inclusive atmosphere by responding with something upbeat, and then redirect the conversation, like: “Julie has such a great laugh. Hey, your presentation today was powerful! Have you always enjoyed speaking for groups?”
Employers, clients and colleagues pick up on defensive behavior and lack of positive wording, says Sobel. Speak and act in an empathetic and welcoming way so everyone sees you as part of the team.
When you listen to a powerful speaker, it’s not just the message that captures your heart. The sound of a dynamic speaker’s voice can give you the chills, comfort you, inspire you, and rally you to action! They have a powerful voice that fills the room and captures your heart! (Find out about these qualities live and in person OCTOBER 17 by visiting www.AlexanderTechniqueLA.com/workshops)
There are 6 qualities of an engaging and powerful voice that can propel you towards SUCCESS, whether that means speaking on stage, on a telesummit, or interviewing on a radio program:
1) RESONANT Your voice is sound and sound is vibration. The vibration of your voice bounces off the bones of your body and it fills the room with your message.
2) EMBODIED Your voice comes from your entire body, not just your mouth. When you are connected to your whole body, your voice is amplified from your feet on the floor, to your legs, hips, belly, back, and head.
3) GROUNDED The body of a dynamic speaker is grounded which means that both feet are hips-width distance and planted on the floor. This will calm your nervous system and literally allow you to breathe with ease.
4) TENSION-FREE You don’t have to push your head forward and tighten your neck, shoulders, and abdominals to make sound. An attractive voice that gives you the chills pours out of a body that is released and open which allows for a flexible ribcage that moves with your breath.
5) ENERGIZED Without tension, you are calm and the energy of your message can flow out of your body and impact your audience. They will literally FEEL the energy radiating from your voice.
6) COLORFUL With the above 5 qualities, your body is free to move with your breath and voice. This gives you the ability to play with pitch and pace. You can speak in a low voice when you want your audience to taste your every word and with a quick and forceful voice when you call them to action!
Watch the video that describes The Voice that Fills the Room and Captures the Heart of Your Audience!
With these 6 qualities, capturing the hearts of your listeners is joyful and easy. They will feel your passion and joy and join your movement.
To OWN THE ROOM and CAPTIVATE THE HEARTS OF YOUR AUDIENCE sign up for the next “Full Force Freedom” workshop October 17 at www.AlexanderTechniqueLA.com/workshops/